regrets

its one of those times in life that i feel i have so much regrets that i cant carry them. i want to apologize but she's too far. i cant tell her that because i don't think she wants to hear from me much. i feel guilty, for damaging what is great for what is worthless. i feel guilty.

i cried tonight, and the last time i cried like this was more than two years ago. i thought i was going to lose what i had only just realized how much i care about. that is a great pain. i was sitting on that high place, shivering of the cold wind, and crying my soul out. that severe crying made me realize how much i cared about what we had, and i aim to defend it from now on with all i have.

i am sorry. i will say this as many times as you would want me to, because i know i should be. still, i feel good about confessing to you because i know that if i didn't things would be very unlikely to change their way towards the good way for me. now i feel that they are. now i realize how much you matter to me, and how much you mean to me. well, you mean a lot, and i know that i miss you right now. it may not be clear to me why, but i know that i do.

i hope you read this.